Wow...five years ago.

I really left off on a scary note. Pretty mean of me, in hindsight.

Anyone still around?

Things have changed so much around here.


About a week ago, I ended up sifting through some old LJ entries looking for a bit of information. I don't think I realized it at the time, but I did write some funny shit back then.

Maybe there's hope for me yet.

It's about time I sat down, took a long, hard look at my computer, and decided what to do with my online life. I had a conversation with someone about this just recently. Where's everyone hanging out these days?

The real question is, if I get some good information, will I use any of it before it's outdated and everyone's moved on to somewhere else? I get the feeling that I need to start from scratch, though. Sort of rebuild everything from the ground up. Nobody cares about book reviews that were written for defunct websites five years ago.

Oh, and I won't be doing it on this laptop. My husband got hold of a couple of Windows Surface tablets to test for work, and he loaned me one since I wanted to try it so badly. Sad to say, they suck for actually using on one's lap. <^U^>

Hmm. I haven't made an elf emoticon in so long...You know, I almost named my blog "The Emoticon Forest." But then I started receiving books for "The Unnamed Forest" and I realized I was sort of stuck with it, even though I'd finally settled on a name.

Just got done watching Bridget Jones's Diary, since I was craving a viewing. I realized too that I miss carrying around hardbound, blank, leather journals. I miss drawing. I miss feeling free on paper.

My son and I painted rocks on our front walk to welcome spring. (And yes, I'm really proud of this and blab it to everyone, because it makes me sound like a good mommy even though I never, ever think of fun stuff like this to do. For someone who's been told she's creative all her life, it sucks how absolutely UNcreative a mom I'm turning out to be. My son has no imagination, and I'm sure it's my fault.) It's washable paint, but I sort of wish it wasn't. I had a lot of fun just blending the colors. It's weird how the smell of tempura just comes back and floods your system, making you miss paint stained cement floors and the dusty corners of art studio space.


I had dinner in a house today that I felt I completely belonged in. The house wasn't mine.

I don't know how to make my house look like that house. It would require a lot of money. A lot of antiquing. A lot of care.

I don't think I'll ever have that within reach. I wish I could accept that. I'm doomed to live in a suburban home forever and always live paycheck to paycheck. Destiny sucks sometimes.

Its got a lot of nice stuff sometimes. A lot of love and unexpected niceness to be grateful for. But the irony of the parts you can't change is just so bothersome. A sign of the modern times, I suppose. A week of reading books about the Depression and I still can't just feel happy with my suburban miniature comfort zone. (I would say "paradise," but lets not take it that far. Although it really IS to some degree. Most people don't have it so good. Gah, I'm an ungrateful whine.)

Why yes, I was treated to a few rum and cokes while we were at that house. Why do you ask?
  • Current Music
    Miss Jones

For anyone watching "King of Nerds:"

Don't you just sort of....feel for Alana?

I mean, everyone else in that house is either classic quick-brain-smart nerd or looks-good-in-convention-costume-trendy nerd. But her...she's like so many people that I know! I think that nearly a third of the Tucson Nanowrimo community resembles her.

I have a theory about this. Now that being a nerd is actually viewed as an asset in popular culture, a new version of scapegoat had to emerge. Now there's cool nerds and nerds that even the other nerds won't touch. No one in that house seems to like her very much. They're the cool kids among nerds.

So, in many ways, she's the ultimate nerd.

Unfortunately, that doesn't means she wins the competition (although she did win the first immunity by NOT EVEN BEING PICKED FOR TEAMS BY THE OTHER NERDS)(which was a brilliant twist on the old trauma, I must say). And, to be honest, I doubt she will.

But I just think it's interesting to see this other layer emerge. Her type is the nerddom that I've known as home for years. We're specialized. We love fandoms, but only know a few by heart. We love fantasy, but don't speak Orcish. We love costumes, but look rather pathetic in them. We're not quick or brilliant (unless we get caught in our element), and kind of caustic at times, but total sweethearts if you get to know us. Unfortunately, our lax habit of dress and off-putting manneurisms prevent that for most folks.

So, watching her through the eyes of these other "cool kid" nerds--seeing their painful reactions to everything she does that the camera captures--has been a real eye opener for me. And we're only on the second show tomorrow!

It's been a little disconcerting for me. I just didn't realize how few skills I really have.

At least none that make me nerdy enough to succeed at a show like this.

And I can't help but wonder: Am I a traitor to my nerd roots by being turned off by a person like Alana? Or have I just grown out of it?
  • Current Music
    A song from a Thomas and Friends movie. Swear to God. Can't get it out of my head.
hooo boy

Departed ones

It's weird, but whenever I think of the Gabrielle Giffords shooting that happened two years ago, all I can think of is this picture:

That's our dear friend and fellow writer, Julie Prince.

The caption on USA Today reads: Julie Prince of Tucson lights a candle at a makeshift memorial for shooting victims in front of the University Medical Center in Tucson.

I'm sad about the precious people who lost their lives in front of Safeway that day. I'm sad for everyone who was personally touched by this tragedy. I know several, like the guy across the street who was a first responder to the shooting, and the preschool librarian who taught Christina Taylor-Green in his Sunday school class. I drive by that Safeway frequently, although I never go in.

But all I can think of is that I should have gone to the vigil outside the hospital that evening. I thought about it at the time, but didn't go. I should have.

It might have been my last chance to see Julie when she was still alive.
  • Current Mood
    sad sad

Where are we now?

David Bowie just celebrated his 66th birthday by presenting his first new song in 10 years.

Where are we now?
The moment you know
As long as there's sun
As long as there's rain
As long as there's fire
As long as there's me
As long as there's you
  • Current Mood
    pensive pensive

A new year

I just realized a movie mistake in Sleepless in Seattle, one of my all-time favorite movies.

I was thinking that, here in Arizona, The Wiggler could watch the ball drop and then go to bed right afterward. For some reason, it just occured to me that, because of the time change, the Times Square ball drops at midnight there and 10pm our time.

In Sleepless in Seattle, it shows Sam trying to shake Jonah awake to watch the ball drop, since its' apparently so late there. But the ball would be dropping at 9pm their time, in Seattle, and we all know from the infamous black widow spider scene that Jonah is used to staying up until 10pm on some nights. 9pm would not be so late for him.

Oh, the things it takes you years to notice...

Happy new year, everyone!
  • Current Music
    ~Dim sun...dim sum...~

Seriously wondering... there honestly any way to carry both a purse and lunchbag gracefully? I still can't quite get the hang of it.

It's even harder when trying to lead a three year old by the hand.
  • Current Mood
    uncomfortable uncomfortable

(no subject)

So I think I've reached a decision about my writing.

Collapse )

So we'll try something new here. Novel-length stories just aren't cutting it now. There's too much going on and too much to keep track of.

I'll push myself to finish the damn Lake story, then I'm leaving it alone for a few years and sticking to short stories and PBs. I know I gave up both a few years ago, when I realized my heart wasn't in those two categories, but times change. If that's all I can manage these days, then I'll give it a shot.

Regaining some sort of ground on the blogging front is an entirely different story though. Not sure what to do about that.

Addendum to that last part: I am sort of developing a plan for that, but since my enthusiasm for all things online has been pretty low lately, it may be awhile in coming. Oh yeah, I have a lot of plans, but they don't necessarily get anything done.
  • Current Mood
    contemplative contemplative