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March 2013

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Saturday

About a week ago, I ended up sifting through some old LJ entries looking for a bit of information. I don't think I realized it at the time, but I did write some funny shit back then.

Maybe there's hope for me yet.

It's about time I sat down, took a long, hard look at my computer, and decided what to do with my online life. I had a conversation with someone about this just recently. Where's everyone hanging out these days?

The real question is, if I get some good information, will I use any of it before it's outdated and everyone's moved on to somewhere else? I get the feeling that I need to start from scratch, though. Sort of rebuild everything from the ground up. Nobody cares about book reviews that were written for defunct websites five years ago.

Oh, and I won't be doing it on this laptop. My husband got hold of a couple of Windows Surface tablets to test for work, and he loaned me one since I wanted to try it so badly. Sad to say, they suck for actually using on one's lap. <^U^>

Hmm. I haven't made an elf emoticon in so long...You know, I almost named my blog "The Emoticon Forest." But then I started receiving books for "The Unnamed Forest" and I realized I was sort of stuck with it, even though I'd finally settled on a name.

Just got done watching Bridget Jones's Diary, since I was craving a viewing. I realized too that I miss carrying around hardbound, blank, leather journals. I miss drawing. I miss feeling free on paper.

My son and I painted rocks on our front walk to welcome spring. (And yes, I'm really proud of this and blab it to everyone, because it makes me sound like a good mommy even though I never, ever think of fun stuff like this to do. For someone who's been told she's creative all her life, it sucks how absolutely UNcreative a mom I'm turning out to be. My son has no imagination, and I'm sure it's my fault.) It's washable paint, but I sort of wish it wasn't. I had a lot of fun just blending the colors. It's weird how the smell of tempura just comes back and floods your system, making you miss paint stained cement floors and the dusty corners of art studio space.

*sigh*

I had dinner in a house today that I felt I completely belonged in. The house wasn't mine.

I don't know how to make my house look like that house. It would require a lot of money. A lot of antiquing. A lot of care.

I don't think I'll ever have that within reach. I wish I could accept that. I'm doomed to live in a suburban home forever and always live paycheck to paycheck. Destiny sucks sometimes.

Its got a lot of nice stuff sometimes. A lot of love and unexpected niceness to be grateful for. But the irony of the parts you can't change is just so bothersome. A sign of the modern times, I suppose. A week of reading books about the Depression and I still can't just feel happy with my suburban miniature comfort zone. (I would say "paradise," but lets not take it that far. Although it really IS to some degree. Most people don't have it so good. Gah, I'm an ungrateful whine.)
...

Why yes, I was treated to a few rum and cokes while we were at that house. Why do you ask?

Comments

My mom is incredibly artistic, but I'm not really either. My kiddos get lessons in reading and photography and very simple crafts...but I have friends who do amazing projects with their kids, and I'm always thinking, "Huh. Why don't I do that?" Well, I don't because it's just not me. :) And you know what? That's okay. It's okay for you too, right? Your son has the perfect mom for him!
Aw, thank you, Robin. I love doing crafts, but I don't spend a heck of a lot of time on them for some reason. I think I get overwhelmed with all of the possibilities, so I never really START.
It's okay to be analytical too! And sometimes, there is creativity waiting in those who don't seem to be creative at first -- it just means finding the outlet, and that may come with skills he won't learn for decades.

I am not artistic in the visual mediums, but I had my first chance to do printmaking a few weeks ago, and really enjoyed monotypes. My friend (who has had showings, and actually made money in the Art World (TM)) liked what I did! And she's envious about ideas I have about print making!

Me! I'm not a visual type of person!

So I notices when I see a silk screen or all sorts of things now... something I would have never noticed before.
___

Hey, look at the paintings George W. Bush has done -- he's never been considered a "creative" type either, but http://www.businessinsider.com/this-george-w-bush-painting-of-a-dog-will-break-your-heart-2013-3 and that terrier painting is pretty good.

You probably know to let your kid develop into his own strengths already, though. :)
Hey, stranger! Where are you living now? Need updates, please.

And send some pics of your printmaking. That's some cool stuff.
Where is everyone hanging out these days?! :) Not that I ever really post here anymore (or anywhere for that matter) but I still check in on occasion and see what's happening.

I know what you mean about the creativity thing!!! Every time I plan a preschool storytime, I have to look stuff up online and I'm like, "Seriously? Where do people come up with all these projects?" But I'm glad it's out there for me to steal since I could never come up with it on my own.

Paycheck to paycheck. I hear you.
There's so much creative stuff to do! It's the application that gets me.
::Hugs:: I enjoy reading your entries when you post them, and I feel the way you describe a lot of the time.


If you do end up starting over somewhere else on the internet, let me know. I never can keep up with trends of who goes where. I usually just stay in one spot and watch everyone drift away.
It's nothing personal, I swear!
Why the hell didn't I see this entry? D:

So yeah. so called 'first world problems' are still PROBLEMS and you are not a terrible person to have these thoughts. <3
Maybe because I post so infrequently?

But yeah. I feel like a whiney bitch sometimes. Heh, thanks for reminding me I'm not the worst. <^u^>